Here goes the listġ) The solitary moments at night when I feel real kicked and ecstatic reading Gibran and I simultaneously recall Pete Townsend pleading someone on the following lines After a long thought there a few things that I think will definitely bestow upon my current existence some happiness. It seems paradoxical to me that the search for “true” happiness is the actual cause of the misery. Just let lose and jump off a cliff leaving behind the baggage of social expectations, being judged in a narrow deterministic way, “pseudo companionship”, “professional growth” etc etc. The answer seems to be a NO and sometime soon I intend to lead a life that reflects the NO. For I keep asking myself repeatedly “do moments of my existence need to be measured by assured “security” and “peace” that society seems eager to bestow upon me? “. The struggle seems to increase every time I make an attempt to get three worthy winks of sleep to feel the “Me” in Myself. Moreover, the faithless Darwinian in me asks me repeatedly “Is this what evolution had in plans for human beings – just being part of an endless rat race (Natural Selection Redefined)”. The vertigo seems unperturbed as I glance out to see my life measured in terms of “long term career progress”, “material comfort”, “stability”, and “conformance”. Irony lies in the fact that the norms of society seem to lead me to this whirlpool making sure it engulfs me, overpowers me, and stifles me. Ceaseless information about growth, happiness / Sadness, war, the relentless march of materialism, widening disparities, dogma, race, religion, ideologies, its like being sucked into a whirlpool which, in retrospect, you feel was awaiting you since your existence. Never mind the loads of opinions that are thrown at you.
The feeling of selling your soul for 8 odd hours isn’t all that good especially considering the fact it is expected that you do it. It’s not exactly the yearning to explain the futility of what now I have decided is caged existence.
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